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Tuesday Five-teen: How to find a good Spiritual Director

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I know, I know you are thinking, where is the Thanksgiving post on Five Things I am thankful for? And what’s up with Tuesday Five-teen? Well, this week there is an abundance of tips for Tuesday Five, so I just multiplied it. Think loaves and fishes. And don’t worry, there is a LOT to be thankful for, so check back in on Thursday to contribute to Thanksgiving Alphabet Soup! And now…Tuesday Five-teen.

Who do I ask for Spiritual Direction? How do I find someone?

 But first, why spiritual direction? You want to be a Saint, right? RIGHT? Ok, that’s better. Of course you do. Let’s take a look at the Saints. What did most, if not all of them have? Rocks as pillows? Perhaps. Joy that only Christ can give? For sure. 7 pounds of bacon on Christmas? Probably not. A Spiritual Director? Most likely.

Five Reasons to have a Spiritual Director

  • discerning your vocation (this IS a site for single girls, no?!) :)
  • grow deeper in your prayer life
  • sifting through your thoughts;  are they coming from God, you or possibly the enemy?
  • growing closer to Him
  • help in making big decisions (moving, job, to date or not to date the cute red head, etc.)
I know, I know you are thinking, I don’t even know what to talk about in Spiritual Direction. That’s ok. For the most part, the director and the Holy Spirit will lead, but in the past I have found it helpful to bring in a few things I want to talk about, to help get the ball rolling. I usually have a list of 3-5 things. Sometimes we don’t get past the first one and sometimes we make it through all five, but as I like my steak, it’s very rare.
Five things to talk about in Spiritual Direction
  • a particular sin you are struggling with (gossip, greed, envy, lust, pride, eating too many ores…)
  • a passage of Scripture or spiritual reading that was interesting or that struck you. Especially if it is something you don’t agree with or have trouble understanding.
  • share your mystical experiences of seeing Jesus in the Mass or that one time you levitated in prayer. What do you mean that hasn’t happened to you?! :P (and if it has, it’s up to you to share it, according to some Saints their mystical experiences were too intimate to share with anyone!)
  • Do you have a decision in life to make? Has the path opened up before you in two directions and you need to choose? Ask for guidance from your spiritual director!
  • if you are going to a priest, take part in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.
Five ways to find a Spiritual Director
  • Pray. Ask the Holy Spirit to lead you to a good and holy person.
  • Seek the intercession of the Saints, especially St. Ignatius. St. Ignatius is known for developing the ‘spiritual exercises’ and helping with the discernment process. 
  • Ask around. Who does your friend go to? Ask for a recommendation from someone at your parish. You can even call your Diocese and ask them if they have any recommendations.
  • Look no further-what about your parish priest? Eh? No? Ok, keep reading…
  • Many religious sisters, brothers and some laity offer spiritual direction. There are programs that laity can go through to be trained in spiritual direction. Again, ask around and you might find someone.

Keep in mind this is your soul you are talking about. You don’t want to just ask anyone. You want to make sure they will be a good fit and that’s why it might be a good idea to first ask that person if you could talk to them/get spiritual direction versus asking them outright to BE your spiritual director. Read yesterday’s post on how to approach someone for spiritual direction. 

I wouldn’t just ask anyone – especially if they have never done spiritual direction before. If there is someone you know that you like and have clicked with and they seem holy and wonderful and filled with rainbows and kittens, it doesn’t mean that they can lead you in spiritual direction. But they could be a good friend, confidant or someone to just talk to. Ask yourself why are you drawn to that person? Would it be best for spiritual direction or just to ‘talk’ through things with someone? I think there is a distinct line between the two. Many times I have asked for spiritual direction, usually with a priest, and found myself babbling on and on about this and that. Needing a confidant is a good thing and a spiritual director can act as that, but they are so much more than that too.

Remember, Jesus wants to draw you closer to Him, so He is in one this too.

It might take some effort, but it will be worth it! I will be praying for you as well. 

What are your thoughts on Spiritual Direction?

How did you find your Spiritual Director?

What is something (generic) that you talk about in Spiritual Direction?

 

 


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